One of those Days

It all started last night. I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned pretty much all night (probably a result of sleeping in until 10:00am that morning), but the last time that I looked at the clock it was 2:00am, and I had to get up at 6:00am. Then I forgot my cell phone at home....not that I use it during the day, but I like to have it in case of an emergency. I was about 5 blocks away from home when I realized that I forgot it, and it was already too late to turn around. I should have known then that it was just going to be one of those days.
I got to work on time-maybe even a bit early-and my day started off as usual. We had rounds first thing in the morning and during rounds Dana (my facilitator) and I decided who would take which patients. She gave me a list of about 4 patients which is not too many, as there have been days when I have looked after 7 or 8. I had 1 TPN (nutrition through the veins), 1 tube feed, 1 initial and 1 follow up.
I started off with the tube feed patient who had been transferred from another unit. It should have been simple-a quick follow-up to make sure that everything was going well. However, the patient's labs were all over the board, and to make a long story short, I had to change the entire tube feed in the end. By the time that I was done, it was about 11:30am, and my TPN order was to be in by 11:00! To make things worse, I felt completely incompetent since I didn't know the answers to any of the questions that Dana asked me about the tube feed.
So at 11:30 I move on to my TPN patient. This patient had initially started out on PPN (administered through a peripheral vein) but the patient had recently had a PICC line inserted so that the order had to be changed to be administered centerally. I have never written a TPN order before, so again I felt completelty incompetent (and kind of like a pain in the butt) when I had to ask Dana to teach me how to write it. I finished this patient at 12:00 and went for lunch, but because Dana and I were so far behind because of my two complicated patients, lunch had to be cut short. I told myself that I would be less incompetent after lunch and speed through my last two patients without a hitch.
After lunch I decided to tackle my follow-up, which actually ended up to be a tube feed follow-up. (As an aside, I have to say that I start my Nutrition Support rotation next week. Nutrition support covers both tube feeds and PPN/TPN. I find it somewhat counterproductive that I am responsible for these patients before I officially know what tube feeds and TPN are all about). Anyways, what should have been a quick follow-up turned into another challenge, as the patient had become dehydrated. Not having dealt with complications of tube feeds before, I again had to solicit Dana's help-making me feel incompetent x3.
Luckily, my last patient turned out to have no complications. However, I left work today feeling defeated. This whole internship experience is like a roller coaster ride. As soon as things seem to be going smoothly, there is another curve. Up until this point I have felt really good about my progress and the knowledge that I have gained, but days like today make me question how ready I really am to be a dietitian and have people's well-being in my hands. I know that even following internship it will be a huge learning curve and I will never know all of the answers, but after today I feel like I have a lot more to learn.
I am also a bit worried over the fact that I do not have a dietitian position secured for when I return to Whitehorse. Although I have a good job in order and want to be in Whitehorse, I hope that I can find another part-time job that will allow me to utilize my skills that I have learned throughout internship so that I do not loose them.